Navigating the "Let's talk about business" conversation with friends
Released on April 28, 2026
The last BD Brief focused on how to ask friends for a business conversation without losing the friendship.
INTA starts this week. If you use my tip, you’ll take a bunch of relationships that have been sitting in the “friends I should probably talk to about doing business together at some point,” category… and you’ll actually suggest the two of you having a business conversation.
And they’ll say “Yes”.
Great! A big weight is lifted. But suddenly you start thinking about the type of presentation or pitch you should prepare for the conversation or meeting.
And that heavy feeling returns.
RELAX
You’re just planning to meet a friend or close acquaintance—someone you’ve met many times before. The only difference is that now you have set the stage for the two of you to turn your conversation towards business.
Your objective for this meeting is not to pitch your friend on why they should send work to your firm. This is not a sales meeting.
Your objective is to understand and learn about them and their business so you can see how you can potentially help them. And then you.
That’s it. It’s honestly simple.
Start here
Before your meeting, think about a few simple and open questions you can ask to get the conversation rolling.
Nothing clever. Just useful questions that will help you learn enough to paint a full picture about how they work, what drives them and their business, and what is important to them.
“I realized I don’t actually know much about your work life...”
“What’s keeping you busy at work?”
“What’s the big focus for you or your clients this year?”
“Any new products, brands, or tech coming on board?”
“With the new stuff you are working on, how are you managing that?”
Then, sit back and LISTEN.
The important part
When they say something interesting—and they usually will—people jump in and try to solve the problem they have just heard. Or relate it back to themselves.
But it’s just a bit early for that. Fight that urge.
Instead, lean into it.
Ask one more question. Dig a little deeper.
“Can you tell me a bit more about that?”
“How big of an issue is that for you?”
“Do you feel like you are ahead of it, or maybe a bit reactive?”
This is where the useful detail tends to come out.
Business Conversations Don't Have to Feel Awkward
The most productive conversations often start with a few good questions and a genuine interest in understanding the other person.
If you'd like to discuss how to have more natural and productive BD conversations, I'd be glad to help.
Click here to find a time to talk
What you’re actually doing
You are paying attention to what they are saying. You are learning as you listen.
And you are listening for:
Where there might be some synergy in your practice and theirs.
Where your expertise could complement their expertise or help solve a challenge or concern they are facing.
How you could help
Where you might introduce them to someone that could
Where this usually breaks down
Not in the conversation, but after it.
The meeting ends, you both say “good to catch up,” and then nothing happens.
You lose momentum.
If you discover that you can help each other, and want to, whether that means sending work or making introductions to people in your network, then you need to make sure it actually happens.
Keep it moving (without forcing it)
If it feels natural, agree on the next step there and then.
“Let’s follow up on that next week.”
“I’ll introduce you to X.”
“I’ll send that over.”
If you agree what you are going to do next in the moment of the conversation it gives you that follow up to do. It's defined, and you're both now committed to it, so it's actually going to happen.
That works well when something clear has come up. But, if it doesn’t feel quite right in the moment, don’t force it.
If you're not sure of the right path forward, one way you could end the conversation is:
“This was great—I’m glad we finally did this. I’m going to have a think about what we discussed and see how we might be able to help each other.”
Then follow up a day or two later.
I see this happen a lot.
A client has a good conversation with someone they’d known for years, but nothing obvious comes up in their meeting. So, they leave it there. But then they follow up the next day with:
“I’ve been thinking about our conversation—there might be a useful introduction I can make for you.”
That introduction then turns into a piece of work a few months later.
This isn't complicated. It's just having a good conversation about how you can help each other… and doing some thoughtful follow-up.
Final thought
If we’re being honest, none of this is particularly complicated.
But it is very easy to overthink.
Be curious.
Listen properly.
And make sure you keep the momentum moving forward.
That’s how these conversations turn into something more.
Quick prep (before your next meeting)
Write down 2–3 questions you’ll ask
Stay curious—lean in with probing questions -- “tell me more...”
Decide: next step now, or follow up shortly after
There you go, it truly is “as simple as that”
– Phil
Want Better Business Conversations?
The most valuable BD opportunities often come from people you already know and trust. Sometimes all it takes is asking better questions, listening more carefully, and following up thoughtfully.
If you'd like to explore how to make those conversations more productive, let's talk.
Click here to find a time to talk
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